Episode 3: Letting go of perfection

Welcome back to The Anatomy of Tenderness!

We took a longer than planned break, but we’re back with some more episodes, starting with this short conversation exploring the idea of "perfectionism" as something that blocks the way to tenderness by letting our ego or pride get in the way of true human connection.

How often do we avoid inviting people over because we worry our home or the food we can offer is good enough, or forget to reach out to someone because we're waiting for the perfect time? And, do we hold back from finishing or sharing our ideas, skills, and gifts with the world, avoid making a contribution because we don't know enough, aren't good enough, don't have enough to offer yet?

We’re working on practising what we preach by sharing the “imperfect” audio of this episode as we dandle a baby on our laps.

We will be sharing new conversations soon—thanks for bearing with us as we find our feet recording and editing in this busy season of life with a newborn.

Quotes we read in this episode:

From Marion Woodman’s book, Addition to Perfection: “many of us—men and women—are addicted [to perfection] in one way or another because our patriarchal culture emphasizes specialization and perfection. Driven to do our best at school, on the job, in our relationships—in every corner of our lives—we try to make ourselves into works of art. Working so hard to create our own perfection we forget that we are human beings.”

From Brené Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart: “Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism. Perfectionism is not striving to be our best or working towards excellence. Healthy striving is internally driven, perfectionism is externally driven by a simple but potentially all-consuming question: what will people think?”

“Feeling shamed, judged, and blamed and the fear of these feelings are realities of the human experience. Perfectionism actually increases the odds that we’ll experience these painful emotions, and often leads to self-blame: it’s my fault, I’m feeling this way because I’m not good enough.”